(Please note that on the right sidebar there is a place for you to enter your email address to get notices each time there is a new blog. I'm a lot behind in the tech age and finally figured out how to do this. I appreciate all those who journey with me.)
The next book on my reading list is Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown. I've been told it is excellent. I've been told vulnerability is about courage, and trust, and making relationships more real. I'll let you know what I learn after I read it. In the meantime I'm giving this vulnerability thing a whirl.
The past couple of months I have been in a bit of a spiritual crisis. I know what I believe, and I know that what I believe is true. I also know that I don't know or believe nearly as much as God wants me to...keep going Holly, keep growing! I know that I know, that I know God has created each one of us; that God has a plan and a purpose, which we need to live in to in order to experience the abundant life Christ came to give us. I know this! But I'm not feeling it lately. I'm not experiencing it. "I can't make it happen."
Integrity is one of my core values. I need to practice what I preach, and I want to do that faithfully. On the one hand I have had such a powerful "calling" into this Midlife Momentum ministry; on the other hand nothing has been coming together for this next year. I've been trying some new avenues, and maybe it is too soon to see where it is leading, but it feels like a dead end.
As I contemplated and prayed about it I have found myself, on a couple of different occasions, throwing my hands up and saying, "I can't make this happen." And immediately I sensed God saying, "And that surprises you?" Of course I can't "make this happen." It is the work of the Spirit and the timing of God. I wrestle with "Letting go and Letting God" and trying to understand what my part is in developing this ministry. But I am still stuck with my frustration.
Then last week in a conversation with a good friend I shared my frustrations and some new things I was thinking about doing, rather that focusing on Midlife Momentum full time. I was feeling guilty, that it might be leaving what God had called me to. She challenged me to see how it might fit together; how it might be the next step on the journey. It drew me back to something I had written 4 years ago...that basically once we figure out what God has called us to it isn't a "done deal." The call of God is evolutionary. We continue to grow and change and the "call" continues to build on what God has been teaching us. I know the need to provide transformative opportunities for midlifers is important for the individuals and for the kingdom, but what will that look like?
So I feel a bit like I am wandering around in the wilderness looking for the next oasis. I would appreciate your prayers as I seek to live faithfully and peacefully into all God has in store.
Isaiah 40:38 Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
I need this verse, and I "can't make it happen" on my own...we all know that, right?
The next book on my reading list is Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown. I've been told it is excellent. I've been told vulnerability is about courage, and trust, and making relationships more real. I'll let you know what I learn after I read it. In the meantime I'm giving this vulnerability thing a whirl.
The past couple of months I have been in a bit of a spiritual crisis. I know what I believe, and I know that what I believe is true. I also know that I don't know or believe nearly as much as God wants me to...keep going Holly, keep growing! I know that I know, that I know God has created each one of us; that God has a plan and a purpose, which we need to live in to in order to experience the abundant life Christ came to give us. I know this! But I'm not feeling it lately. I'm not experiencing it. "I can't make it happen."
Integrity is one of my core values. I need to practice what I preach, and I want to do that faithfully. On the one hand I have had such a powerful "calling" into this Midlife Momentum ministry; on the other hand nothing has been coming together for this next year. I've been trying some new avenues, and maybe it is too soon to see where it is leading, but it feels like a dead end.
As I contemplated and prayed about it I have found myself, on a couple of different occasions, throwing my hands up and saying, "I can't make this happen." And immediately I sensed God saying, "And that surprises you?" Of course I can't "make this happen." It is the work of the Spirit and the timing of God. I wrestle with "Letting go and Letting God" and trying to understand what my part is in developing this ministry. But I am still stuck with my frustration.
Then last week in a conversation with a good friend I shared my frustrations and some new things I was thinking about doing, rather that focusing on Midlife Momentum full time. I was feeling guilty, that it might be leaving what God had called me to. She challenged me to see how it might fit together; how it might be the next step on the journey. It drew me back to something I had written 4 years ago...that basically once we figure out what God has called us to it isn't a "done deal." The call of God is evolutionary. We continue to grow and change and the "call" continues to build on what God has been teaching us. I know the need to provide transformative opportunities for midlifers is important for the individuals and for the kingdom, but what will that look like?
So I feel a bit like I am wandering around in the wilderness looking for the next oasis. I would appreciate your prayers as I seek to live faithfully and peacefully into all God has in store.
Isaiah 40:38 Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
I need this verse, and I "can't make it happen" on my own...we all know that, right?
Oh Holly, you and I are in the same waiting room! I've been struggling through this very same issue for the past month or so...And I was given the gift of figuring out that God's timing is a teensy bit different than my idea of proper timing. [Sigh] It's not easy, but I guess it's just the way it is. Hang in there!! Love, Suz
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