Saturday, February 16, 2013

Crazy Fool?

This week I had breakfast with a new friend...Yeah!  In our conversation she mentioned to me, "You are so self-confident.  I am not."  I've been processing that this week.  Did she say this remembering the Sunday morning I skipped around the church with the kids during the children's message, or was it because during congregational prayer on Sunday I invited our non-kneeling congregation to kneel with me for our prayer? (After all, Ephesians 3:14-20 was our guide to prayer this week, and it begins, "Therefore, I kneel before the Father..."  It seemed so appropriate.)  Or maybe she thought this simply because I wear my little black hat with my red coat, even though Al looks at me with this little grin that says, "Really?"

As I've been thinking on this I've come to the awareness that it doesn't have as much to do with "self-confidence" as it is all about FREEDOM in CHRIST.  I remember my first taste of this the summer after high school when I was introduced to Camp Manitoqua, and I encounter all these college kids who were a little crazy and in love with Jesus.  This was a side of Christianity I had not experienced, and I wanted it!  I even remember "Uncle Harold Korver" telling us as staff that part of the job was being, "A fool for Christ."  What an incredible, freeing experience that was.  I went home determined not to be captured by the "What will people think?" mentality.

Now as a midlifing woman of 60 I look back and recognize it is a life-long journey. There is progress made, mountains climbed, valleys traversed, new vistas ahead, but always a need to stay close to and very intentional about looking to Jesus for my source of identity.  When I do a Midlife Momentum retreat and ask people what they like most about this season of life, invariably someone in the group says, "I don't worry so much anymore about what people think."  Midlife wisdom, often learned through a faith walk with lots of ups and downs.

My freedom in Christ was birthed the summer of Manitoqua, but it has grown, deepened and been a tool for aiding others in gaining freedom as I have experienced more of life.  Sometimes the Evil One tries to pull me down, throw all kinds of weaknesses in my face, and generally beat me up, but he is the loser, the liar.  My confidence is not in me, but in the One who seeks me, saves me, lives in me and frees me.  Lord help me always to remember this!!!

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